Unhinged
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Eaturecray — Igpay Oubleday ikestray Enwhay ouyay eakspay ay onnay-igpay-atinlay ordway, acrificesay Atinlay Igpay. Isthay iecepay ofay avorflay exttay oesn'tday eallyray aysay anythingay. 3/3 |
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Instant Exile target attacking creature. Then remove it from the game. Then put it into the absolutely-removed-from-the-freaking-game-forever zone. |
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Instant Exile target attacking creature. Then remove it from the game. Then put it into the absolutely-removed-from-the-freaking-game-forever zone. |
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Creature — Elephant Townsfolk Whenever you cast a spell, you may gain ½ life for each word in that spell's name. "Step 1: I believe in a power and toughness greater than myself . . . ." 1/4 |
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Creature — Bird Flying Gotcha — If an opponent touches the table with their hand, you may say "Gotcha!" When you do, return Cardpecker from your graveyard to your hand. 1.5/1 |
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Creature — Bird Flying Gotcha — If an opponent touches the table with their hand, you may say "Gotcha!" When you do, return Cardpecker from your graveyard to your hand. 1.5/1 |
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Creature — Donkey Townsfolk Spells you cast cost And you thought Yawgmoth drove a hard bargain. 1/3.5 |
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Enchantment As Circle of Protection: Art enters the battlefield, choose an artist.
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Creature — Human Gamer
"Here—have a Mudhole." 2/5 |
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Enchantment As Drawn Together enters the battlefield, choose an artist. Creatures with art by the chosen artist get +2/+2. "My Pete Venters theme deck is nearly complete. Then I shall be unstoppable! Bwahahahaaa!" —Pete Venters |
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Creature — Human Rogue Whenever another creature enters the battlefield, you may stand up and say in a deep, booming voice, "Presenting . . . " and that creature's name. If you do, put a +1/+1 counter on that creature. The ogre appealed the match loss and got it downgraded to a warning. 0/1 |
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Creature — Human Rogue Whenever another creature enters the battlefield, you may stand up and say in a deep, booming voice, "Presenting . . . " and that creature's name. If you do, put a +1/+1 counter on that creature. The ogre appealed the match loss and got it downgraded to a warning. 0/1 |
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Erase (Not the Urza's Legacy One) Instant If you control two or more white permanents that share an artist, you may cast this spell without paying its mana cost. Exile target enchantment. Synonyms for "erase" we haven't used: ablate, a̶b̶r̶a̶d̶e̶, chafe, fray, f̶r̶a̶z̶z̶l̶e̶, scuff, and scrub. |
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Creature — Human Horror
Dear Mr. and Mrs. Cranford, After careful analysis of Jeremy's vocational testing, I feel that he is best suited for a career in either torture or art direction. 2/2 |
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Enchantment Each attacking or blocking creature with the lowest collector number among attacking or blocking creatures has first strike. Yotian soldiers hoped that one day R&D would make an artifact creature whose name starts with Z. And in their dreams, it's a 4/1. |
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Legendary Creature — Elephant Rogue At the beginning of your upkeep, you may ask target player a yes-or-no question. If you do, that player answers the question truthfully and abides by that answer if able until end of turn. Don't cross him or you'll end up sleeping with the merfolk. 2/3 |
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Instant You and target opponent play Seven Questions with the top card of that player's library. If you win, prevent all damage that would be dealt this turn by a source of your choice. (To play Seven Questions, that player looks at the card, then you ask up to six yes-or-no questions about the card that they answer truthfully. You guess the card's name—that's question seven—then the player reveals the card.) |
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Creature — Human Knight Flying
Spells cast by players wearing at least one item of women's clothing cost "I said 'Put him in a *core set*, not a corset!'" —Richard Garfield, Ph.D. 2/2 |
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Creature — Human Child In the future, she may be a distinguished leader, a great scholar, or a decorated hero. These days all she does is pee the bed. .5/.5 |
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Enchantment As Look at Me, I'm R&D comes into play, choose a number and a second number one higher or one lower than that number. All instances of the first chosen number on permanents, spells, and cards in any zone are the second chosen number. |
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Creature — Human Knight As long as you're shorter than an opponent, Man of Measure gets +0/+1 and has first strike. As long as you're taller than an opponent, Man of Measure gets +1/+0. You need to be this tall to play this card. 2/2 |
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Instant Choose one — • Target player gains 2½ life. • Prevent the next 2½ damage that would be dealt to target creature this turn. Gotcha — If an opponent says "save" or "life," you may say "Gotcha!" When you do, return Save Life from your graveyard to your hand. Who consistently managed to win. |
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Creature — Human Soldier As long as you're standing, Standing Army has vigilance. They're the chair-men of the bored. 2/4 |
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Creature — Human Soldier As long as you're standing, Standing Army has vigilance. They're the chair-men of the bored. 2/4 |
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Enchantment "Until end of turn" and "this turn" effects don't end. Mongo's fleas no longer bothered him. But the family of goblins that had moved in behind his left ear was starting to get really irritating. |
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Enchantment — Aura Enchant creature Enchanted creature gets +1/+1 for each word in its name. "Suck on it, Stangg!" —Sol'kanar the Swamp King |
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Creature — Shapeshifter
{1}: This card's flavor text becomes the flavor text of your choice. (This ability doesn't work because it's flavor text, not rules text (but neither does this reminder text, so you figure it out).) 1/1 |
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Enchantment Whenever a player plays a spell that counters a spell that has been played or a player plays a spell that comes into play with counters, that player may counter the next spell played or put an additional counter on a permanent that has already been played, but not countered. |
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Creature — Human Wizard
PRICELESS PIC PILFERED Painting Found Abandoned in Graveyard Merfolk Decry Wizards' Treatment 1/2 |
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Creature — Avatar This spell costs */* |
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Creature — Human Wizard
He gives credit where credit isn't due. 2/3 |
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Creature — Beeble Bursting Beebles can't be blocked as long as defending player controls two or more nonland permanents that share an artist. Like thousands of others, the beebles quit Magic for several years following the release of the *Mercadian Masques* set. 2/2 |
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Creature — Bird Flying At the beginning of your upkeep, sacrifice Carnivorous Death-Parrot unless you say its flavor text. Save a kill spell to deal with this guy. 2/2 |
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Creature — Efreet If Cheatyface is in your hand, you may sneak Cheatyface onto the battlefield. If an opponent catches you right away, that player may exile Cheatyface. Flying 2/2 |
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Creature — Drake Flying When Double Header enters the battlefield, you may return target permanent with a two-word name to its owner's hand. Players that don't read flavor text aren't too bright, sorta smell, and dress funny. But let's just keep this between us, okay? They can get kind of violent. 2/3 |
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Instant Counter target spell unless its controller pays "Don't worry about it. It happens to every mage sooner or later." |
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Instant Choose an artist. Tap all untapped permanents with art by that artist or untap all tapped permanents with art by that artist. Who knew an 8˝ by 10˝ could feel like a 2˝ by 4˝? |
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Creature — Shapeshifter
5/5 |
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Creature — Shapeshifter
5/5 |
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Legendary Creature — Human Gamer
"Just wait till I get my Krark-Clan Ironworks, Genesis Chamber, and Grinding Station. Oh yeah, and a second Myr Retriever." 1/1 |
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Enchantment — Aura Enchant creature As Loose Lips enters the battlefield, choose a sentence with eight or fewer words. Enchanted creature has flying. Whenever enchanted creature deals damage to an opponent, that player may say the chosen sentence. If they don't, you draw two cards. Your sentence can't be longer than this one. |
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Creature — Human Gamer
1|= y()u (4|\| r3@d 7#][5, y0|_| /\r3 @ IVI0/\/$+3|2 &33|< 1/2 |
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Instant Choose a nonland card name, then reveal the top card of your library. If that card has the chosen name, you draw three cards. mise 'mīz v [alter. of might as well] (1997) 1: to win when you don't deserve to 2: to top-deck the "tings" you need 3: to be rewarded by an opponent's bad luck 4: to coin a phrase that spreads through the tournament scene like wildfire 5: to fling a monkey 6: to split firewood using a sharp instrument 7: To burn |
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Creature — Human Wizard
2/2 |
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Sorcery Choose target opponent and target creature they control. You and that player have a breath-holding contest. If you win, you gain control of that creature. Interesting tidbit: Surveys show that the card Ow has one of the most popular pieces of flavor text in the *Unglued* expansion. |
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Enchantment At the beginning of your upkeep, if you control permanents with names that include all twenty-six letters of the English alphabet, you win the game. The quick onyx goblin jumps over the lazy dwarf. |
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Instant Return target permanent to its owner's hand. Gotcha — If an opponent says a number, you may say "Gotcha!" When you do, return Number Crunch from your graveyard to your hand. Can you digit? |
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Creature — Elemental? Did you know this creature has flying? Are you aware that any time you say something that isn't a question, when a player points out this fact first, they gain control of Question Elemental? "What the . . . ?" 3/4 |
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Creature — Elemental? Did you know this creature has flying? Are you aware that any time you say something that isn't a question, when a player points out this fact first, they gain control of Question Elemental? "What the . . . ?" 3/4 |
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Legendary Creature — Human Designer You may play cards as though they were other cards of your choice with the same mana cost. You can't choose the same card twice. (Mana cost includes color.) And yea he doth spake: "Let there be Magic." 2/2 |
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Legendary Creature — Human Designer You may play cards as though they were other cards of your choice with the same mana cost. You can't choose the same card twice. (Mana cost includes color.) And yea he doth spake: "Let there be Magic." 2/2 |
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Creature — Donkey Wizard Whenever Smart Ass attacks, choose a card name. If defending player has no cards with the chosen name in their hand, they may reveal their hand. If they don't reveal their hand, Smart Ass can't be blocked this turn. "I don't get it. Why doesn't anybody like me?" 2.5/1 |
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Instant Counter target spell. Gotcha — If an opponent says "spell" or "counter," you may say "Gotcha!" When you do, return Spell Counter from your graveyard to your hand. Playing *Unhinged*, . . . |
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Enchantment The phases of each player's turn are reversed. (The phases are, in reverse order, ending, postcombat main, combat, precombat main, and beginning.) As long as there are more than two players in the game, the turn order is reversed. "Here on going is heck the what?" |
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Instant Choose an artist. Exile the top six cards of your library, then reveal cards from the top of your library until you reveal a card with art by the chosen artist. Put that card in your hand and exile all other cards revealed this way. |
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Instant Choose an artist. Exile the top six cards of your library, then reveal cards from the top of your library until you reveal a card with art by the chosen artist. Put that card in your hand and exile all other cards revealed this way. |
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Creature — Donkey Zombie
He wanders the land in search of Good Ass. 3.5/1 |
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Creature — Donkey Zombie
He wanders the land in search of Good Ass. 3.5/1 |
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Creature — Zombie When the names of three or more nonland permanents begin with the same letter, sacrifice Bloodletter. If you do, it deals 2 damage to each creature and each player. "That's not really an A. It's an Æ. They changed it! Wait, don't—" —Hœbrus Væm, Aerathi librarian, last words 2/3 |
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Instant Open a sealed Magic booster pack, reveal the cards, and put one of them into your hand. (Remove that card from your deck before beginning a new game.) Real men use *Arabian Nights* boosters. |
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Instant Destroy target creature with reminder text. (Reminder text is any italicized text in parentheses that explains rules you already know.) Will players understand that the creature is being crushed by two parentheses? Not a chance. |
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Sorcery Players play a Magic subgame under the table, starting at 5 life and using their libraries as their decks. The winner searches their library for two cards, puts those cards into their hand, then shuffles. |
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Instant You and target creature's controller have a staring contest. If you win, destroy that creature. True, Gargox had blinded himself for life, but the glass eyes never lost. |
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Creature — Zombie The Fallen Apart enters the battlefield with two arms and two legs. Whenever damage is dealt to The Fallen Apart, remove an arm or a leg from it. The Fallen Apart can't attack if it has no legs and can't block if it has no arms. 4/4 |
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Enchantment As Farewell to Arms enters the battlefield, choose a hand attached to an opponent's arm. When the chosen hand isn't behind its owner's back, sacrifice Farewell to Arms. If you do, that player discards their hand . . . of cards. (The lawyers wouldn't let us do it the other way.) |
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Enchantment As Farewell to Arms enters the battlefield, choose a hand attached to an opponent's arm. When the chosen hand isn't behind its owner's back, sacrifice Farewell to Arms. If you do, that player discards their hand . . . of cards. (The lawyers wouldn't let us do it the other way.) |
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Infernal Spawn of Infernal Spawn of Evil Creature — Demon Child Flying, first strike, trample
Once each turn, while you're searching your library, you may pay 8/8 |
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Instant Destroy target nonblack creature. Gotcha — If an opponent says "kill" or "destroy," you may say "Gotcha!" When you do, return Kill! Destroy! from your graveyard to your hand. Getting "Gotcha'ed" again and again. |
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Creature — Human Cleric Whenever a creature an opponent controls dies, sacrifice Mother of Goons unless you insult that creature. "Word to me." 3/2 |
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Enchantment Skip your untap step. At the beginning of your upkeep, you may pay X life. If you do, untap X permanents. Pay ½ life: Exile the top card of your library face down. Put that card into your hand at the beginning of the next end step. |
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Sorcery Choose an artist other than Rebecca Guay. Target player reveals their hand and discards all nonland cards with art by the chosen artist. The torches and pitchforks were no match for Rebecca's fans. |
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Creature — Phyrexian Horror Flying, trample At the beginning of your upkeep, exile the top card of your library and balance it on your body. When a balanced card falls or touches another balanced card, sacrifice Phyrexian Librarian. 3/3 |
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Instant Target player discards a card. Gotcha — If an opponent audibly flicks the cards in their hand, you may say "Gotcha!" When you do, return Stop That from your graveyard to your hand. Now for a squirt of lemon juice. |
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Creature — Monkey
"C'mon, choose 'monkey.' Everybody loves monkeys!" 1/1 |
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Creature — Ooze Whenever a player's skin or fingernail touches Vile Bile, that player loses 2 life. 2.5/2.5 |
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Sorcery Wet Willie of the Damned deals 2½ damage to any target and you gain 2½ life. Ever the warrior, Glissa responded with a "wedgie from beyond Uranus." |
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Instant Target creature gets -X/-X until end of turn, where X is the number of times the letter of your choice appears in that creature's name. "Get it? Bunnies, letters, -X/-X? Me neither." —Bucky, flavor text writer |
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Instant Target creature gets -X/-X until end of turn, where X is the number of times the letter of your choice appears in that creature's name. "Get it? Bunnies, letters, -X/-X? Me neither." —Bucky, flavor text writer |
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Creature — Mummy As Working Stiff enters the battlefield, straighten your arms. When you bend an elbow, sacrifice Working Stiff. Oh, does your nose itch? 2/2 |
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Creature — Zombie Gamer As Zombie Fanboy enters the battlefield, choose an artist. Whenever a permanent with art by the chosen artist is put into a graveyard, put two +1/+1 counters on Zombie Fanboy. The real advantage of being a zombie gamer? No one notices the stench. 1/1 |
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Enchantment At the beginning of your upkeep, destroy all nonland permanents with the first name alphabetically among nonland permanents. Tired of always being picked last, the wizard Zzzyxas created the ultimate revenge. |
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Creature — Donkey Each other Donkey gets +1½/+1½. Whenever another Donkey enters the battlefield, untap target creature and gain control of it until end of turn. That creature gains haste until end of turn. Who wants to see a picture of a big hairy ass? 3.5/3.5 |
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Instant Madness |
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Instant Madness |
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Curse of the Fire Penguin // Curse of the Fire Penguin Creature Enchantment — Aura Enchant creature Curse of the Fire Penguin consumes and confuses enchanted creature. |
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Curse of the Fire Penguin // Curse of the Fire Penguin Creature Creature — Penguin Trample When this creature dies, return Curse of the Fire Penguin to the battlefield. 6/5 |
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Instant Deal Damage deals 4 damage to any target. Gotcha — If an opponent says "deal" or "damage," you may say "Gotcha!" When you do, return Deal Damage from your graveyard to your hand. Until he got singed . . . |
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Creature — Donkey Barbarian At the beginning of your upkeep, flip a coin. If you lose the flip, target opponent chooses whether Dumb Ass attacks this turn. Envying the intelligence of goblins is a bad place to be. 3.5/2 |
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Sorcery You and target opponent play a best two-out-of-three Rock, Paper, Scissors match. If you win, Face to Face deals 5 damage to that player. Befuddled by this new game, Argg longed for the days of Rock, Rock, Rock. |
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Creature — Human Bureaucrat Protection from wordy (Something is wordy if it has four or more lines of rules text.) The pen is mightier than the sword. 2/2 |
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Creature — Human Bureaucrat Protection from wordy (Something is wordy if it has four or more lines of rules text.) The pen is mightier than the sword. 2/2 |
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Creature — Goblin Mime When you speak, sacrifice Goblin Mime. Pretending to be inside an invisible box was easy enough for Brug. It was finding the invisible door that caused him problems. 2/2 |
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Creature — Goblin Mime When you speak, sacrifice Goblin Mime. Pretending to be inside an invisible box was easy enough for Brug. It was finding the invisible door that caused him problems. 2/2 |
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Creature — Goblin Rogue First strike At the beginning of your upkeep, reveal a card from your hand at random. SECRET AGENT PD042198 LICENSE TO BE KILLED 2/2 |
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Creature — Goblin Warrior Say "Goblin S.W.A.T. Team": Put a +1/+1 counter on Goblin S.W.A.T. Team unless an opponent swats the table within five seconds. Activate only once each turn. They put the "special" in special weapons and tactics. 2/2 |
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Instant Add What began as black Has slowly shifted to red. Fickle color pie. |
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Creature — Goblin Waiter Sacrifice a creature or land: Add Poached Rukh Eggs Rock Cooked Rock Unicorn-on-the-Cob Wormfang Turtle Soup 1/1 |
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Creature — Goblin Waiter Sacrifice a creature or land: Add Poached Rukh Eggs Rock Cooked Rock Unicorn-on-the-Cob Wormfang Turtle Soup 1/1 |
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Creature — Orc Paratrooper When Orcish Paratroopers enters the battlefield, flip it from a height of at least one foot. Sacrifice Orcish Paratroopers unless it turns over completely at least once during the flip and lands face up. IOU one parashoot —Urk, mogg fanatic 4/4 |
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Instant Punctuate deals damage to target creature equal to half the number of punctuation marks in that creature's text box. (The punctuation marks are ! ? , ; : - — ( ) / " " ' ' & .) "Ooh—right in the colon." |
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Creature — Giant
"487. You're welcome." —Bucky, flavor text writer 0/2 |
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Creature — Elemental Whenever Red-Hot Hottie deals damage to a creature, put a third-degree-burn counter on that creature. It gains "At the beginning of each end step, sacrifice this creature unless you scream 'Aaah!' at the top of your lungs." She was winning the Dominarian "Are You Hot?" competition until disaster struck during the wet T-shirt round. 2/5 |
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Creature — Slug Super haste (This may attack the turn before you cast it. (You may put this card from your hand onto the battlefield tapped and attacking during your declare attackers step. If you do, you lose the game at the beginning of your next turn's end step unless you pay this card's mana cost during that turn.)) Did you go through all the trouble to unscramble this? 3/1 |
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Instant Sauté deals 3½ damage to any target. "Selecting the proper beeble is the key to a good sauté. The pinker the fur and the heartier the yelp, the more succulent the beeble will be when you pop it in your mouth." —Asmoranomardicadaistinaculdacar, *The Underworld Cookbook* |
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Creature — Beast As Six-y Beast enters the battlefield, you secretly put six or fewer +1/+1 counters on it, then an opponent guesses the number of counters. If that player guesses right, sacrifice Six-y Beast after it enters the battlefield. Is it six? 0/0 |
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Sorcery Destroy target land. Gotcha — If an opponent touches their face, you may say "Gotcha!" When you do, return Touch and Go from your graveyard to your hand. Judge's ruling: The interior of the face still counts as the face, so a nose-pick is legitimate grounds for saying "Gotcha!" |
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Sorcery Destroy target land. Gotcha — If an opponent touches their face, you may say "Gotcha!" When you do, return Touch and Go from your graveyard to your hand. Judge's ruling: The interior of the face still counts as the face, so a nose-pick is legitimate grounds for saying "Gotcha" |
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Enchantment All creatures have haste. Players play with the top card of their libraries revealed. Noninstant, nonsorcery cards on top of a library are on the battlefield under their owner's control in addition to being in that library. It puts the "vortex" in "flavortext." |
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Creature — Dog Trample Whenever a player casts a spell, put a chip counter on its mana value. B-I-N-G-O gets +9/+9 for each set of three numbers in a row with chip counters on them. There was a farmer, had a hound . . . 1/1 |
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Creature — Beast Gotcha — If an opponent says "creature" or "guy," you may say "Gotcha!" When you do, return Creature Guy from your graveyard to your hand. There once was a player named Quinn, . . . 3/3 |
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Creature — Elf Rogue Elvish House Party's power and toughness are each equal to the current hour, using the twelve-hour system. The party was going strong for nearly an hour past midnight—then all of a sudden it just petered out. */* |
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Creature — Donkey Shaman Fat Ass gets +2/+2 and has trample as long as you're eating. (Gum isn't food. We checked.) Our lawyers say no matter how funny it would be, we can't encourage players to eat the cards. Hear that? Whatever you do, *don't* eat the delicious cards. 2/3.5 |
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Enchantment As Form of the Squirrel enters the battlefield, create a 1/1 green Squirrel creature token. You lose the game when that creature leaves the battlefield. Creatures can't attack you. You have shroud. You can't cast spells. |
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Creature — Human Hero
Bitten by radioactive beebles in a freak algebra accident, young Ricky Robertson discovered he'd gained the ability to harness the awesome power of fractions! 1/1.5 |
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Creature — Beast As Gluetius Maximus enters the battlefield, an opponent chooses one of your fingers. (Thumbs are fingers, too.) When the chosen finger isn't touching Gluetius Maximus, sacrifice Gluetius Maximus. 5/5 |
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Sorcery You gain life equal to your age. R&D Comments BB 10/10: Why does a life-gaining card show an old lady killing people? MR (10/10/03): We'll fix it in the flavor text. |
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Instant All creatures with art by the artist of your choice get +2/+2 and gain trample until end of turn. WARNING: THE DOMINARIAN SURGEON GENERAL HAS FOUND THAT SAVAGE BEATINGS CAN LEAD TO CHUMP BLOCKS, LIFE REDUCTION, AND EVEN GAME LOSS. |
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Creature — Human Druid As Keeper of the Sacred Word enters the battlefield, choose a word. Whenever an opponent says the chosen word, Keeper of the Sacred Word gets +3/+3 until end of turn. This is not a subliminal message. 2/3 |
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Creature — Human Druid As Keeper of the Sacred Word enters the battlefield, choose a word. Whenever an opponent says the chosen word, Keeper of the Sacred Word gets +3/+3 until end of turn. This is not a subliminal message. 2/3 |
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Sorcery Search your library for a basic land card, put that card onto the battlefield tapped, then shuffle. If you sang a song the whole time you were searching and shuffling, you may untap that land. |
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Creature — Hyena Gotcha — If an opponent laughs, you may say "Gotcha!" When you do, return Laughing Hyena from your graveyard to your hand. "Two muffins are baking in an oven. One muffin says to the other muffin, 'It's getting hot in here, huh?' The other muffin says, 'Aagh! A talking muffin!'" 2/2 |
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Creature — Hyena Gotcha — If an opponent laughs, you may say "Gotcha!" When you do, return Laughing Hyena from your graveyard to your hand. "Two muffins are baking in an oven. One muffin says to the other muffin, 'It's getting hot in here, huh?' The other muffin says, 'Aagh! A talking muffin'" 2/2 |
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Creature — Monkey As Monkey Monkey Monkey enters the battlefield, choose a letter. Monkey Monkey Monkey gets +1/+1 for each nonland permanent whose name begins with the chosen letter. Many matches make more madcap monkey mayhem. 1/1 |
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Creature — Monkey As Monkey Monkey Monkey enters the battlefield, choose a letter. Monkey Monkey Monkey gets +1/+1 for each nonland permanent whose name begins with the chosen letter. Many matches make more madcap monkey mayhem. 1/1 |
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Enchantment Gotcha — If an opponent says a word that's in the name of a card in your graveyard, you may say "Gotcha!" When you do, return that card to your hand. Gemini (May 21—June 21) This week is a good time to branch out and meet others. But don't forget your roots. Avoid commitments and open flames. |
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Summon — Dinosaur Phasing, cumulative upkeep "These kids today with their collector numbers and their newfangled tap symbol. Twenty Black Lotuses and twenty Plague Rats. Now that's *real* Magic." 7/7 |
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Summon — Dinosaur Phasing, cumulative upkeep "These kids today with their collector numbers and their newfangled tap symbol. Twenty Black Lotuses and twenty Plague Rats. Now that's *real* Magic." 7/7 |
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Creature — Elemental Art rampage 2 (Whenever this creature becomes blocked by a creature, it gets +2/+2 for each creature in the blocker's art beyond the first.) Just call it OMRSTPLRLCNSWMTCTHTALCNEE for short. 2/2 |
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Instant If you control two or more green permanents that share an artist, you may cast this spell without paying its mana cost. Exile target artifact. 6 PM (23) This Old Grove 98055 A rusted masticore makes a beautiful addition to any garden. |
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Creature — Treefolk Shoe Tree enters the battlefield with up to two shoe counters on it. Use your shoes as counters. Shoe Tree gets +1/+1 for each shoe counter on it. It grows several feet a year. 3/3 |
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Creature — Treefolk Shoe Tree enters the battlefield with up to two shoe counters on it. Use your shoes as counters. Shoe Tree gets +1/+1 for each shoe counter on it. It grows several feet a year. 3/3 |
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Instant You and target opponent arm-wrestle. If you win, create a 3/3 green Ape creature token. His friends at the gym never knew Garanth's secret shame. For years he had tried to walk away from professional arm wrestling, but hey—free monkeys. |
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Creature — Ooze You may have S.N.O.T. enter the battlefield stuck to another creature named S.N.O.T. If you do, all those creatures form a single creature. S.N.O.T.'s power and toughness are each equal to the square of the number of cards named S.N.O.T. stuck together to form it. (One is a 1/1, two are a 4/4, three are a 9/9, and four are a 16/16. If you manage to get -1 S.N.O.T.s stuck together, it's a 1/1.) *²/*² |
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Creature — Basilisk Whenever Stone-Cold Basilisk blocks or becomes blocked by a creature with fewer letters in its name, destroy that creature at end of combat. (Punctuation and spaces aren't letters.) Whenever an opponent reads Stone-Cold Basilisk, that player is turned to stone until end of turn. Stoned players can't attack, block, cast spells, or activate abilities. 2.5/5 |
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Instant Target creature gets +3½/+3½ until end of turn. You want "mise" with that? |
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Sorcery Create a 1/1 colorless Expansion-Symbol creature token for each different expansion symbol among permanents you control. "Everyone break into teams. Weaponry, you're with me. Nature group, meet by the palm tree. Stoneworks and metalworks, follow the anvil. Everyone else, gather around the giant V." —Sword of Kaldra |
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Creature — Ape Trample When Uktabi Kong enters the battlefield, destroy all artifacts. Tap two untapped Apes you control: Create a 1/1 green Ape creature token. "I desire the acquisition of a potassium-rich fruit comestible of *substantial* magnitude." 8/8 |
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Enchantment At the beginning of your upkeep, you may say "Ach! Hans, run! It's the . . ." and the name of a creature card. If you do, search your library for a card with that name, put it onto the battlefield, then shuffle. That creature gains haste. Exile it at the beginning of the next end step. |
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Sorcery Destroy target silver-bordered or acorn permanent in any game you can see from your seat. Asses to ashes, Donkeys to dust. |
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Creature — Human Child As Meddling Kids enters the battlefield, choose a word with four or more letters. Spells with the chosen word in their text box can't be cast. These kids know their four-letter words. 2/3 |
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Sorcery Each player sacrifices all permanents that are rare or mythic rare, then each player reveals their hand and discards all cards that are rare or mythic rare. The only rare you'll ever need. Okay, not really. |
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Who // What // When // Where // Why Instant Target player gains X life. |
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Who // What // When // Where // Why Instant Destroy target artifact. |
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Who // What // When // Where // Why Instant Counter target creature spell. |
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Who // What // When // Where // Why Instant Destroy target land. |
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Who // What // When // Where // Why Instant Destroy target enchantment. |
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Legendary Artifact You choose all targets for all spells and abilities. Help us . . . R&D under mental domination of alien brain in jar . . . only chance . . . Gleemax's blatant disregard for flavor text . . . send help! |
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Legendary Artifact You choose all targets for all spells and abilities. Help us . . . R&D under mental domination of alien brain in jar . . . only chance . . . Gleemax's blatant disregard for flavor text . . . send help! |
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Artifact When Letter Bomb enters the battlefield, sign it and shuffle it into target player's library. That player reveals each card they draw until they draw Letter Bomb. When that player draws Letter Bomb, it deals 19½ damage to them. "Dear Magic R&D, . . ." |
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Artifact When Letter Bomb enters the battlefield, sign it and shuffle it into target player's library. That player reveals each card they draw until they draw Letter Bomb. When that player draws Letter Bomb, it deals 19½ damage to them. "Dear Magic R&D, . . ." |
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Artifact
There was no darker or more evil creation in all the multiverse than that of the mana screw. |
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Artifact
There was no darker or more evil creation in all the multiverse than that of the mana screw. |
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Artifact
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Artifact
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Artifact
This card is named My First Tome. |
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Artifact
This card is named My First Tome. |
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Artifact
"I would have made a 'Spin-The-Bottle' joke if I thought anyone reading this had ever played the game." —Bucky, flavor text writer |
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Artifact
Minutes before the campus watch busted pledge week at the Alpha Beta Unlimited house . . . |
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Artifact
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Artifact
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Artifact Creature — Golem Togglodyte enters the battlefield turned on. Whenever a player casts a spell, toggle Togglodyte's ON/OFF switch. As long as Togglodyte is turned off, it can't attack or block, and prevent all damage it would deal. 4/4 |
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Artifact Creature — Ship Cumulative upkeep—Say "Toy Boat" quickly. (At the beginning of your upkeep, put an age counter on Toy Boat, then sacrifice it unless you say "Toy Boat" once for each age counter on it—without pausing between or fumbling it.) 3/3 |
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Artifact
www.wizards.com/hottub |
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Artifact As Water Gun Balloon Game enters the battlefield, each player puts a pop! counter on "0." Whenever a player casts a spell, move that player's pop! counter up one. Whenever a player's pop! counter hits "5," that player creates a 5/5 pink Giant Teddy Bear creature token and resets all pop! counters to "0." |
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Artifact
YOUR AD HERE |
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Land City of Ass enters the battlefield tapped.
"But . . ." |
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Legendary Land Play cards as written. Ignore all errata.
"Let them complain. As long as the addictive ink is working, we can do anything we want." PLAY AT YOUR OWN RISK |
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Basic Land — Plains ( |
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Basic Land — Island ( |
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Basic Land — Swamp ( |
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Basic Land — Mountain ( |
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Basic Land — Forest ( |
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Artifact Premium spells cost "Ooh . . . shiny!" |
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less to cast.
: Draw a card, then discard a card.
Whenever a permanent that shares an artist with another permanent you control enters the battlefield, untap Artful Looter.
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: Add one mana of any color.